A big thank you to Orange for providing such a fantastic example of the representatives on earth approach in promoting their services to the public. Although Orange seem to be extremely keen to sign up new customers, they are even keener to hang on to these revenue generating irritations.

Their method of retaining customers is to use a form of apostasy that is also popular with organised crime operations and while this may ensure short term commitment, it will undoubtedly lose paying customers to providers who actually treat paying subscribers like human beings.

Perhaps the Orange copywriter who came up their vision of ‘I am Everyone’ had predictive text switched on when they penned the slogan because at this rate, Orange will soon probably have only one customer left.